Sunday, June 9, 2013

Stress and other stuff I forgot

If you take the last photo and add about 8 stars to that left side - that's what it looks like now.  Stitched last night, but that has been it.

Things are changing at mom's.  The stress is getting to me.  Signed the realtor papers. Then the guy that wanted to walk through it so bad - will not return phone calls.  Okay, I can live with that.  Any advantage in dealing with him now goes out the window and the price jumps $10,000. for him.  Expensive for men in my life to ignore me.  At one point I was hearing all the plans the guy had for my mom's house.

The auctioneer showed up to get the info for the auction ad.  He forgot his briefcase.  So he had no camera and no contract.  So today I went to where his auction was and signed the contract for my auction.  It will be crazy before that is all over.  He took cell phone photos that day.  I can only imagine.  He looked... he took photos... he made lists...  he has been doing it a long time.  He gets 20% plus the ad.  He will get us 3 hayracks to preload with stuff the week before.  He says to just move this and that - and I say - you understand that there really are no men to help me until the morning of the auction.  So it is really just the woman that has helped me and me...

That is why all this takes so long.  It is really just her and I, and she is the organizing machine.  She is great with the things she knows, but she tossed a bar of metal, and this week we are taking the scrap to the recycler so I look at the bar a little closer.  It is not a bar, it is a gun barrel.  A rifle barrel.
We made 2 trips to the metal scrap yard on Friday.  Each was about 300 pounds in my car.  Got $71 the first load and $49 the second load.  I always split the money with the woman that helps me.  It helps pay for our gas money to get to my mom's house.  We have 2 more car loads and that should be the end of running metal.  At least one more dumpster, but not till after the auction.

And as usual, the realtor that I knew and liked in high school tossed another weird thing at me again.  We were signing the paperwork, and he decides to have a remember when moment.

Okay, as I have said before, we made one attempt at a date.  I attempted to make it unusual by asking him to take me to look at baby furniture.  It was my weird attempt to learn what he saw for his own future.  I was 15 and he was 16.  He like me and was very shy and never ever kissed me.  After this weird date, I remember him not talking to me, or no longer having time for me.  He does not remember it that way.

One other thing.  I asked him a few weeks ago about other women he dated.  He said there was a girl he dated for 4 years... I said, why didn't you marry her?  He said, well, if she had ever answered the door wearing just a towel I might have...

Hummm...okay, she wasn't something he was hoping for...  not sure what I am supposed to get from that answer...

So in his - remember when moment - he says...
Remember when I picked you up for our date and you came to the door wearing just a towel?

What???
Yep.
What?  No!  I  do not remember that at all.  Are you sure this was me?  Yes it was you...

Now suddenly the comment about the other girlfriend not in the towel makes more sense.  I had no idea he was trying to reference something I had done to him.

But then I had to figure out why, I was not the teenage girl to be waiting to greet boys at the door in a towel.  Besides the other boys I knew would have grabbed the towel away from me.  So what had happened?  I can only suspect.  He was probably early, and I was getting ready.  I would have not wanted to leave him outside waiting, and wondering why nobody came to the door.  Or something silly like I forgot or changed my mind and did not want to go...  so in a moments thought it would have seemed easiest to just go let him in to wait inside while I finished getting dressed.   I would have been covered more than girls at the beach, and not let it register too much that I was wearing just a towel before leaving him to get dressed.  He was not the boy to grab the towel.  I was smart enough to have thought it was slightly funny, and known that most boys would be thrilled to catch a girl in just a towel at some point.  I was pretty sure like that dog that chases cars, he was not at the point he would know what to do if he suddenly caught the car, and actually had the girl in front of him.  I was hoping it would make him smile.  I was always doing things to try to get boys to smile or laugh.

For me even this was a non-event that I did not remember at all.
For him, he never forgot.

Then he said, you don't know what that did to me as a teenage boy....

And his voice cracked when he said it now.  I have never heard his voice crack, did I scar the boy for life?   I was not going to treat it like a joke because as women, men can do things they consider a joke or harmless that are not something they should be doing to women or girls at all.
Yet it was something he said he wished his girlfriend had done.  So which is it?

So I called my men friends, to ask if their point of view, and what their reaction would have been when they were 16 year old boys.
I get that seeing the girl in the towel probably caused an instant effect on him.
Here I will use the word - effect.. instead of the actual word.  Asking the 50 year old men, I used the word, which makes them giggle at my questions.

I say, as a woman, I have no point of reference because this was not a problem as a teenage girl.  So how bad did I mess him up?  Do I have to go back to every boy I was ever around that I had an effect on to apologize?  The guys tell me no, they would have never expected any girl to apologize for any effects.

Weren't you all sort of hoping to get the girl in the towel if only for a moment at 16, but then really hoping at 20 or 21 that every girl answers the door in only a towel?
Yep.  Since this guy and the realtor were in boy scouts together he said that the realtor should have been a better scout and asked me if I needed any help in drying or if he could have helped me...  I said if he had offered I would have politely declined the offer.  But that was a pretty funny line.
They said the fact that he still remembers it all these years later meant it was probably not something awful for him and that he would have used the incident as fantasy material.  So I then wanted to learn how that worked for guys.  So even though nothing happened and he saw nothing, he just changes the ending?  Yep.
I have no problem with him thinking of me that way.

So I asked another boy that would have maybe been as shy... what would his reaction have been to seeing the girl in the towel?
'Score!!!!!'
What?
That would have been great fantasy material to last for years in a time long before internet girls were everywhere.  So nothing bad?  Nope.

Both tell me to really know I need to ask him directly.
So I do....
He said he brought it up as - wasn't that just another weird moment between us???

Yes, considering I did not even remember it happened at all.

So now I am just waiting for him to drop the next big bomb of something else I did or said...

But when I felt he would not talk to me after this date, I had to think seeing me in the towel might have been the reason why too.
The poor boy had a day of unexpected girls in towels and looking at baby furniture, and reading my thoughts thinking I did not like him....
It would have had to seem like the worst date ever for a 16 year old boy.  If I was him, I would have thought this girl was a crazy lot of work to deal with on just one date and started to look for a more normal girl.  But on the other hand, I was the girl he never could forget...
But people don't forget floods and tornadoes either...

I said I sometimes did things just to make boys smile.  One of the boys I was fond of liked girls with large chests.  Well endowed girls.  So like Cinderella with her glass slipper I thought he just needed the slipper to know when he found the right girl.
So I went with a friend to the local department store and the ladies department.  We looked for the largest bra we could find.  A sales lady, an older woman, asked if she could help us. I explained honestly to her that it was sort of a joke to help the boy find the girl of his dreams.  We had a limit of cash to spend, we were not expecting anything lacy or fancy, just grandma big as we could find...  she seemed to understand and helped us get what I wanted.  It was white and could have substituted as a small hammock.
The boy was 110 soaking wet.  We gave him the bra and told him to venture forth till he found the girl that fit it...
He thought it was wonderful and it hung in his high school locker the rest of the year.
It was just silly and something to make him smile.

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