Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Tales of the Auction - Part 2

Since we did have all the stuff out by 7:30 and the auction did not start till 10 am - we had some time.
They rearranged.

My guys talked with each other a bit - and we saved a couple of the yard chairs I wanted to keep and a few folding chairs so we would have a place to sit in the living room.
My one friend owns a coffee shop, and she brought coffee.  I do not drink coffee nor own a coffee pot.
The son of my best friend does not function without coffee.  He was very happy to meet her when she came.

I had told my best friend that I wanted him to come that Thursday night - I really wanted to go out for a steak dinner again.  And that Friday we were starting early - and once the stuff was in the yard, I would not be able to leave and would not be able to go out for dinner Friday night.

So Thursday - I mowed at mom's, and had not heard from him.  I was trying to keep clean and took an extra shirt.  I had not heard from him by the time I finished - it was 7:30...  I called his cell...  Are you coming?
Now I was not upset - his refrigerator has busted a day or so before.  Not having a frig beats having an auction every time.  He needed to deal with that - I would understand that without question.  I knew he had been shopping for one - and it would need wife's approval of course - plus delivery time - or him getting it himself...  it could take a few days... 
And his parents have problems from time to time...  again, he should certainly be there, not helping me if that is the problem.   I have other people, but I really want him with me if he can be there for me.

So I decide to just go home since he is not answering his phone or calling me back - I am not sure what is going on... and I really wanted a steak dinner and have not eaten all day.  And I just do not understand why he has not said anything or called.  I know he would not hurt me, and would be there is he could.  But I have enough stress, and not a clue if all of the other guys I have helping me will also abandon me and not show up either.  I am tired and stressed - as I drive home - I cry.

I decide to go visit a friend as a distraction - he has more things going on than I do.  He is building a 13 foot tall retaining wall.  The blocks are 80 pounds each and there are 18 levels of blocks to make the wall 13 feet tall.  He is also getting a new furnace and air conditioning unit, and new water heater.  And he does not like his gas fireplace and wants a new insert for that.
And he moved and is now selling his other place - and the roof has to be replaced on the old house - and the air conditioner was not working - was fixed and then had another problem, and was not working again..
And that is all in just the same week.
He is the only guy I know that has to be under more stress trying to do most of this in a week of vacation trying to get all these people to show up and be done.

It was nearly 8:30 when I get to see him.  My phone finally rings, and I know it is my best friend finally calling me back.  I let it go to voice mail.  We are not going out to dinner now - it would be 9pm by the time we got there even if he is around - and he must not have come or he would have been around long before now.
I do not bother with him.  Talking to this other guy has been good, and I am not upset, and not stressed.
I leave after 9pm.

I check the voicemail.  It is my friend saying - don't worry, have not forgotten you, will see you next weekend....
What?  Next weekend?  The auction is day after tomorrow?  What?
Hey, I am sometimes totally confused about what month it is - so this is possible to think he does not have a clue either.  Still not mad... just trying to figure it out.
I call him.  He answers.
He tells me he thought it would be really funny to tease me about the sale being next weekend.  He is already in town - he has brought his son to help - ( I have never met his son - I know that is crazy - but I have never met his kids, and have only met his wife twice, the first time in 2007 and they have been married for over 25 years...)
So I guess we are not going out for dinner?  Nope - they already ate - we will go Friday night...
No we won't, I have to stay at moms if the stuff is in the yard.
Now it may seem like I am making a big deal out of going out to eat.  But in the 23 months since my mom died, I have been out to eat at a restaurant 4 times.  So for me, getting to go out to eat with another person is a huge deal.  I understand this is common for other people - but for me to get to go out to dinner with a man - does not happen anymore.  It is the closest thing I get to an actual date.  And of the four dinners 2 were with him, and two were with women.  I counted the one woman, and I just had a slice of pie.
So it IS a sort of big deal for me at this stage in life.  I know it is strange, and he is not thinking of it this way.

And he has also just said he has thought I was strong enough that he could tease me that he was not coming and that the auction was not that weekend but the following weekend.... ha ha.
Hummm.  not exactly ha ha in my mind.  And I know that I was not strong enough for him to tease me.  I had just driven home just an hour before crying because I did not understand and was scared that I was on my own, and that this could all still crash and burn.
Strong enough?  Nope - he had thought he knew me, and he had guessed wrong.  What to him was teasing felt like a kick to my core.  Not about dinner - that was something I'd hoped for, but could do without.
As I have said - he has a life - I know that he can not drop it all to help me, and I know there are reasons he would need to attend to other things.
But to tease me at that moment - not his best move ever.
They were staying in a motel that night, since I do not have air conditioning.  Would meet me in the morning.

In the morning - I told him not to tease me anymore - that I was basically exhausted and tired.  Not a good combination.  And that at that point my sense of humor is VERY basic.
And that the funniest thing I could think of was to see a man be kicked in his crotch.
I would think that was very funny at that point, and probably for several days till I was caught up on sleep.  And so unless he wanted to see what I thought was funny, he really might not want to tease me at all till after the auction.
And I said it in front of his grown son, then looked at the kid, and said - It's nice to meet you....

My friend was very nice to me, and did not tease me at all.  We talked a lot.  Had some quiet moments.  I got to know his son a bit better.  He learned that to relieve my stress, if anybody stands near me, I will rub their back.  At one point I know I am doing that to his dad several times, and it really does mean nothing.  It is just something to burn the extra stress energy.  I decide that the son needs to understand this too.  So he is standing next to me, and I tell him to just relax and let me rub his back for a few minutes and that it is just because of me stressing out not to read anything else into me touching him.  So he lets me just rub his back for several minutes.  He was a great kid.  He did whatever we needed done.  He didn't whine or complain.  He just went with it.

My parents made a solid ping pong table when I was a kid - we were selling this table at the auction.  I have not gotten to play ping pong for years.  Mostly because there is nobody else around to play games with.  And up to the night before the auction when the guys got the table out of the house, it always had something on the top.  So the guys had it out on the back yard.  it was not level, but it had a net and paddles and a ball.
It was one thing that I had promised myself I would get to do before it was gone.
So his dad went to get them supper, and I asked the kid while his dad was gone if he would just go play ping pong with me - not to win, or by the rules, just to volley it back and forth for a while.
And the kid was willing...  So we played ping pong in the yard as the sun was setting.  Trying not to get eaten by blood sucking mosquitoes.  Neither of us had played for a while - me since before he was born... and it was fun.  We traded sides... so we both had to look into the setting sun.  It got me a bit of practice before asking his dad to play later...  and his dad did come out and play ping pong later.
The neighbor guy even came over - he is over 70 - I tried to get him to play just a bit with my friend.  The neighbor guy was just a pain about just playing for a few minutes... and I finally got him to play.  But he does not like to lose.  So even though my friend and I were just seeing how long we could keep it going back and forth between us, when the neighbor guy played there were suddenly slam shots...
Which my friend understood, but he said it was more fun just trying to keep it on the table with me.
The neighbor guy left after getting his question answered and I got to play just a little bit more.  Then we stopped and went back inside.  It was enough.  And the table did sell the next day.  $2.50
Yep.  the ball probably cost more than that.  But it was gone, and the basement was empty.
But I have a nice memory of that table, and getting to play ping pong outside as the sun set, with a couple of really great guys.  Worth way more than $2.50

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